oday is one of those days. It’s 11.30 on a Wednesday morning, and I’m still in bed.

I’ve got up and done the things I needed to do. I’ve had breakfast, brought to me by my amazing wife, and I’ve spent the morning creating content for different projects, including this article.

The funny thing is, I actually enjoy writing articles. I enjoy dictating my thoughts, getting them out of my head and using AI to help turn those thoughts into something that other people can read and hopefully find useful.

But sometimes, you have to stop and ask yourself a question.

How am I actually feeling today, and why do I feel like this?

When we talk about neurodiversity and mental health, there are lots of different terms we might use to describe how we feel. Fatigue, tiredness, cognitive overload, executive dysfunction and emotional paralysis are just a few.

Sometimes, we know what we need to do. We might even want to do it. We have ideas, plans and exciting things happening around us, yet we still struggle to get started.

We feel stuck. We cannot quite find the energy or mental capacity to move forward, even when we want to.

And I think it’s important that we recognise these moments rather than simply telling ourselves to try harder.

Understanding what’s happening around us

As I lie here this morning, I can think of several reasons why today might feel difficult.

I have a busy evening ahead of me. It involves lots of interaction, social engagement and cognitive processing. These are things I enjoy, but I also know they take energy.

When you’re neurodivergent, something can be enjoyable and exhausting at the same time. You can love a conversation, get excited about a project and appreciate an opportunity while recognising that these experiences require a great deal of mental energy.

I know that tomorrow might feel different. I can recognise patterns in how I feel and understand that I sometimes need time to recover from the demands of a busy day.

But there are other things happening, too.

It’s the end of the month. The financial pressures of running a business, managing a household and simply living don’t disappear because you’re having a difficult day.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been developing coaching offers, creating resources and building tools to support people. Some things are starting to move forward, but not everything is working at the pace I’d like.

There is excitement in building something new, but there is uncertainty, too. You don’t always know whether the work you’re putting in today will produce the results you need tomorrow.

Then there are the other pressures of life. Situations that haven’t been resolved, things you feel haven’t been properly understood and personal processes that continue to occupy space in your mind.

Individually, each thing might seem manageable. Together, they can make even the simplest tasks feel much harder.

Sometimes, it’s not one big thing that stops you moving forward. It’s the accumulation of lots of smaller things.

When the little things become big things

Something that happened this week really brought this home to me.

On Sunday, I received a letter from my insurance company telling me that I’d missed a payment. I knew there had been a missed payment, so I initially skimmed the letter without properly reading it.

When I looked more closely, I realised there was a £20 charge, taking the bill to £48.

I was frustrated because I knew I’d made the payment. I subsequently spoke to someone at the insurance company, and we discussed my complaint. Although the conversation was helpful, I didn’t feel that the underlying concern had really been understood.

For me, the issue wasn’t simply receiving a letter. It was the timing, the fact that I believed the situation had already been dealt with, and the additional stress of having to go back over it all again.

When you’re already managing a lot, an unexpected letter, a bill or an administrative problem can take up a surprising amount of mental space.

You have to stop what you’re doing, work out what has happened, process the information, decide what to do next and potentially explain yourself to somebody else.

Even after the conversation has ended, your mind might continue going over it.

We often talk about the ADHD tax, the extra costs and consequences that can arise from difficulties with organisation, time management and remembering tasks.

But I think we should also recognise the mental and emotional cost.

It’s not always just about the money. It’s about the time, energy and concentration required to deal with something that other people might find relatively straightforward.

And when several of these experiences happen close together, they can contribute to a much bigger feeling of overwhelm.

Recovery isn’t a straight line

Over the last year, I’ve been working through recovery from burnout, depression and anxiety. I’ve been trying to understand myself better, rebuild my confidence and develop something new.

There have been exciting developments. I’ve been creating coaching offers, planning webinars and exploring how AI can help me turn ideas into practical tools and opportunities.

I love working with technology. I love exploring ideas and thinking about how we can do things differently.

But I’m also learning that having exciting things happening in your life doesn’t mean you’ll always have the capacity to engage with them.

You can be passionate about your work and still feel exhausted. You can have a clear vision for the future and struggle to take the next step today.

Recovery isn’t a straight line, and progress doesn’t mean that every day will feel the same.

We can become so focused on what we should be doing that we forget to consider what we actually need. We look at the things we haven’t completed rather than recognising everything we’re already managing.

I’m trying to learn to do things differently. Not by giving up on my ambitions, but by recognising that I need to look after myself if I want to keep moving towards them.

Giving yourself permission to park

One of the ideas I come back to regularly is giving yourself permission to park something.

Permission to stop. Permission to take a break. Permission to recognise that something is taking more out of you than you expected.

For me, giving myself permission to park doesn’t mean abandoning something or deciding it no longer matters. It means recognising that I don’t have to deal with everything at once.

Sometimes, I can put something aside temporarily, give myself space to think and return to it when I have more capacity.

Sometimes, I need to change the size of the task. Instead of trying to complete everything, I might focus on one small thing. Instead of making a difficult decision, I might gather the information I need and come back to it tomorrow.

And sometimes, I simply need to rest.

Of course, resting isn’t always straightforward. When your mind is busy, stopping physically doesn’t necessarily mean your thoughts stop racing.

You can lie in bed and still feel overwhelmed. You can take a break and spend the entire time thinking about everything you haven’t done. You can pick up your phone to distract yourself and find yourself scrolling for an hour, feeling no better afterwards.

I know how easy it is to get caught in that cycle.

There’s a difference between avoiding something indefinitely and consciously deciding that now isn’t the right time to tackle it.

Giving yourself permission to park is about making that decision rather than allowing everything to compete for your attention at once.

How writing this article has helped me

I could have spent this morning scrolling through my phone, looking at what other people are doing and getting caught up in my own thoughts.

Instead, I’ve been writing.

I’ve been dictating my thoughts, reflecting on how I’m feeling and using AI to help organise those thoughts into an article.

There’s something useful about that process. Putting my thoughts into words has given me an opportunity to step back and look at what’s happening.

It has helped me identify some of the things contributing to how I feel today. It has given me space to reflect rather than simply reacting to the feeling of being stuck.

This is one of the reasons I’m so interested in the potential of AI and assistive technology.

For me, AI isn’t about replacing my thoughts or taking away the things I enjoy doing. It’s about finding ways to work with my own strengths and difficulties.

Dictation helps me get my ideas out of my head. AI helps me organise and develop them. I can then review the content, make changes and shape it into something that reflects what I want to say.

The technology supports my thinking rather than replacing it.

Today, that support has been useful. It has helped me turn a difficult morning into an opportunity to understand myself a little better.

Perhaps that is a small step forward in itself.

What does moving forward look like today?

I’m not going to pretend that everything is suddenly fine. The financial pressures are still there. The things I need to deal with haven’t disappeared, and I still have responsibilities and commitments.

But I can recognise that I’m having a difficult morning without deciding that the entire day is a write-off.

I can acknowledge that I’m finding things harder without judging myself for it. I can recognise that this evening will require energy and make space for that, rather than expecting myself to operate at full capacity all day.

And I can remind myself that I don’t have to achieve everything today.

Maybe moving forward means completing one small task. Maybe it means preparing for something that matters to me. Maybe it means recognising that I need to rest so I have a better chance of doing the things I want to do tomorrow.

We often talk about productivity as though it’s simply a question of how much we can get done. But I think we need a wider conversation about how we manage our energy, understand our needs and recognise the pressures we carry.

Especially when we’re neurodivergent, experiencing mental health difficulties or recovering from burnout.

Sometimes, progress is recognising a pattern. Sometimes, it’s asking for help. Sometimes, it’s finding a different way to approach something.

And sometimes, it’s simply being kinder to ourselves.

You don’t have to work everything out on your own

I’m sharing this because I suspect I’m not the only person who has experienced a morning like this.

Perhaps you’ve found yourself lying in bed, knowing there are things you need to do but struggling to find the energy to get started.

Perhaps you’ve spent weeks or months pushing through, only to find that your capacity has changed. Or perhaps you cannot quite explain why things feel difficult at the moment. You just know that they do.

You don’t always need the perfect words to describe what’s happening. You don’t need to understand everything about yourself before you can start making changes.

Sometimes, the first step is having a conversation with somebody who will listen, help you explore what’s happening and work with you to identify what might make things easier.

That’s an important part of the work I do through my coaching.

I want to help people develop a better understanding of themselves, explore how their differences affect everyday life and find practical ways to move forward.

That doesn’t mean telling somebody to try harder or giving them another list of things to do. It means starting with the individual, understanding their experiences and exploring what support, strategies and tools might help.

If you’re finding things difficult at the moment, I’d love to have a conversation with you.

You can find out more about my coaching and book a discovery call here:

Book a discovery call: https://arransmith.co.uk/discovery-call

You can also explore my book, Work Differently. Move Forward., which helps you reflect on your experiences, understand your differences and consider practical ways to move forward.

Explore the book: https://arransmith.co.uk/work-differently-move-forward

You don’t have to have everything figured out before you start a conversation. Sometimes, that conversation is where the understanding begins.

A final thought for Wednesday

I might not have approached today in the way I originally expected, but that doesn’t mean the day has been wasted.

I’ve recognised some of the pressures I’m carrying. I’ve given myself an opportunity to think differently about them. And I’ve reminded myself that I can still move forward, even if that means taking smaller steps than I had planned.

Perhaps you needed to read this today. Perhaps something in my experience resonates with you.

If it does, remember this.

You are allowed to pause without giving up. You are allowed to rest without feeling that you have failed. And you are allowed to move forward at a pace that works for you.

Sometimes, the first step forward isn’t about doing more. It’s about understanding what you need, giving yourself permission to stop for a moment and recognising that you can begin again when you’re ready.

And that’s where I am today.

Arran Smith

Understand yourself. Work differently. Move forward.